Life Lesson: How to Be the Worst Co-worker

If you are like millions of other Americans, you spend a good portion of your waking hours at work.

For some work is a means to an end, something you do because you need money and want to buy things. For others, the money is nice but the actual job is rewarding enough in itself. Either way, you are spending a lot of time at work.

Every office has its nuances and, unfortunately, co-workers. A co-worker can be a wonderful friend and support system to help you finish the job, but a bad co-worker can make work a living hell.

Here are some ways you can be the worst co-worker (and hopefully you can do the opposite).

  • Be late. Being late will affect nearly everyone around you, especially if you work in a retail situation. So if you really want to chap their hides, show up late every day. And leave early. Also, missing or consistently extending deadlines is an instant way to foul up your office’s life as well as pushing back important work that needs to be done.
  • Cook smelly food in the break room. Think of the smelliest foods: seafood, popcorn or onions. Eating these in your office is a surefire way to make instant enemies in the office. Not only will the entire office smell like the offending food, your breath will give you away as the offending food eater.
  • Interrupt phone calls/conversations. When someone is talking on the phone, in a private conversation or extremely busy, now is the perfect time to try and shoot the breeze. Interrupting shows that you feel you are more important. Wait your turn or risk being blacklisted.
  • Gossip about your co-workers at any chance you get. The real way to be a bad co-worker is to gossip incessantly behind the backs of all of your co-workers. No holds barred- just let it rip. Lay into clothing, hygiene and personality. And if you get caught, laugh it off. Everyone gossips, right? Wrong. Just remember if you are gossiping with someone, there is a good chance they are gossiping about you. Sink your teeth into that one.
  • Send forwards. Receive a chain email or an email with a hilarious joke? Pass it along to everyone in your office. Especially send the racist or controversial ones- those will receive the biggest reaction. Seriously, no one likes forwards, and questionable content is a serious no-no in an office setting. Get a funny email? Laugh and then delete.
  • Take credit for everything. When you are getting accolades for completing a task, make sure to take all of the credit, even if you did not do anything. This might be a way to get the boss to like you, but it will definitely turn your co-workers against you.
  • Bring your personal drama to work. If you have trouble at home or at work, make sure that everyone in your office knows it. The more dramatic and personal, the better.

Avoid these and you are on your way to co-worker of the year.

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