Posts tagged ‘life insurance companies’

How to get a cheap life insurance quote

Life insurance is an important investment for individuals with families. However, many people refrain from applying for life insurance due to their fear of how much it can cost. The cost of life insurance does not have to be a large some of money. Here are six ways an individual can get a cheap life insurance quote:

Maintain a Healthy Weight

One of the first questions most life insurance companies are sure to ask is a person’s weight. The more overweight an individual is, the more their life insurance premium will be. Obesity is linked to so may health risks. And due to these health risks, an insurance company will look at an obese person as high risk.

Tobacco Usage

Another question sure to be asked by a potential insurance company is whether or not the potential customer is a smoker. Tobacco usage can lead to a number of serious ailments such as cancer, strokes and heart disease. Non smokers are more likely to receive a lower life insurance quote that smokers.

Get it while you’re young

Chances are the younger an individual is, the less they will pay for life insurance. People should not wait to apply for a life insurance policy. The earlier an individual looks to purchase a policy, the better impact it can have on how much money has to be paid.

Regular check ups

Regular checks are extremely important for good health. Doctor’s are able to detect symptoms of possible ailments at early stages when their patients visit their office regularly. The better health an individual is in, the more likely they will receive a cheap life insurance quote.

Maintain a Healthy Diet

Research shows that our diets have a profound impact on our everyday health. Poor diets can lead to some serious health problems such as: obesity, heart disease, and diabetes. A healthy diet can go a long way in helping receive a favorable cheap life insurance quote. The proper food types and amounts can give the body the adequate nutrition to function in a healthy manner.

Avoid illegal drug usage

If an individual is engaging in the use of illegal substances, they are placing their health at risk- and possibly death. If an individual is engaging in illegal usage of drugs, there is a good chance they may not get a policy at all. If an insurance company knows an individual is purposely engaging in behaviors that are harmful to their health and life, why would that company want to take a chance on that individual?

As important as life insurance policies are, it’s a comfort to know that customers have control over how much they will have to pay. The better a customer takes care of their body, the better the chances of getting a cheap life insurance quote are.

Life Insurance Companies in Gotham City

Gotham, the hub of what was once beautiful and innovative in the human Spirit. Now it is overrun with crime and poverty. Those who seek honest employment are fearful for their lives. It is in the dark hours of the morning that it becomes most apparent; when the shots are heard ringing through the city’s dirty alley ways. Many who once contributed to the vision of the city’s greatness now cower in run down apartments, most past due on rent. Some have moved to the streets because they no longer can pay for a roof and locked door. Locked doors are overrated in Gotham anyhow. It just sends the message that you have something you don’t want people to take, so they do. Life in the streets and with nothing is almost safer than the once common alternative.

What of business in Gotham? Grocers remain just to supply the gangs with food to steal. They will not close down shop, afraid of retaliation. It seems almost counterproductive to try and earn a living, but some do despite circumstances. The good cops were threatened off the force and nearly all remaining ones are bankrolled by the very corruption they purport to protect against. It is only in the offices of the life insurance companies that anyone can find any glint of hope in this forsaken town.

The agents of the life insurance companies enjoy a special protected class in Gotham. No, not protection by law, that holds no more sway here, but protection by the mobsters that for some reason like to know that they are providing for Gotham’s families as they knock off the city’s few remaining do gooders. Strange, but that is how things work here.

The insurance companies have almost all but evaporated from the city due to the high levels of crime and death, but there remain existing policies that still must be honored. The agents know it just a matter of time before all policies are cashed in. About a month ago the last one was underwritten. After actuaries ran some numbers, no new policies are being accepted in Gotham. For this short run, the agents are grateful that they have a job. They are being left alone to make a living, which is truly a rare thing in Gotham.

How does one escape the despair in a city like Gotham? How does one make a living without turning to crime? How does one move from day to day without letting the darkness overtake him?

The events in this little story are not real and while the city described is not a real place, you may have dangers akin to those in Gotham where you live. Before they get this bad let us help you look into life insurance companies that can help you protect your family in the unfortunate case of you falling prey to a heinous and violent crime, just because you are one who looks out for the good and exposes the evil doers to the light of day. You never know how you’ll go, so protect the ones you love.

Life Insurance Companies in Hell

“Welcome to Hell! My name is Sam and I will be assisting you in your adjustment process and in helping you with any questions you have. Let me start with my regular run down and please don’t interrupt until I am gone. I’m a busy man. ‘So you think arriving in Hell means that you no longer have any benefits you enjoyed while alive? Well, think again! Now that you have arrived in this mildly tropical climate you are free to go where you wish and do whatever you want. Granted, it will probably be as lame as it was when you were alive, but ah well, sucks to be you.

“’We have everything you had in life. We even have some life insurance companies down on the corner there. Yes, I know that you are not technically “alive” and you may wish to know how we can insure your life is that is the case. Well, we can’t. It is kind of a little joke here, but take a stroll on in sometime as you find leisure. Don’t worry, I am sure you will have plenty of time! I think you will find yourself checking it out sooner than later. It gets boring here really fast.’

“That’s pretty much it. Now, I must take my leave. Many many people coming in each hour and I have to get them all situated. Ya know, make sure they feel comfortable here. It is not too difficult a job, most people arriving already seem to know quite a bit about this place and are ready to move on in, but just in case, I have to be ready. If you need anything, you can just call. Here is my card. I may or may not come, but that is kinda how things work in this place. I can’t help it. It’s just how it is.”

And with that Sam was gone. I felt that after his little spiel it would do no good to ask where the nearest restroom was. Man, I really have to go, maybe there is a place in the life insurance office. Besides, it may be good to get whatever lame jokes Hell has to offer out of the way from the get go. So I walked casually into the place called Hell’s Best Life Insurance Company on the window. Well, it was actually the middle of the three with that same marquee out front. I am already reeling with laughter.

Once inside I found the receptionist desk empty, with a little sign saying that she’d be gone to lunch for an undisclosed period of time. At least there was a restroom! I went in and upon flushing I saw the toilet water start to rise, but thought nothing of it. I went to wash my hands, but and dirty water came out almost as thick as mud. I was quick to smell that it wasn’t mud however. It was sewerage! Who in their right mind would connect the sewage and drinking pipes? I went to grab a paper towel and noticed they were out. What next! Then I saw exactly what was coming next…the toilet was starting to flood over.

My day in Hell was starting off with a bang. After a quick attempt at trying to stop the toilet with no success I wiped my hands on my pants and made a quick exit. There was still no receptionist at the desk. I think I was starting to understand the joke here. Get people curious and while they wait, provide them with a restroom set to explode on them in every fashion. Sheesh! Life insurance companies in Hell. I guess the joke’s on me.

Life Insurance Companies in Heaven

“Welcome to heaven!” came an incredibly pleasant voice from behind me. As I turned around to see the being from which this salutation came I had to shield my eyes for just a moment because of the brightness of the person at which I looked. My eyes soon adjusted and I saw before me my father who had passed away just before my tenth birthday. “Dad!” I cried as I raced to embrace him. They had said meeting in heaven would be joyous, but I can’t even describe the thrill which seeing my father again brought. It was strange and wonderful to see him again. After enjoying a few glorious moments in silence and smiles I remembered something that Joni, my wife wanted me to ask when I got here. “Dad, are there life insurance companies in Heaven?” That was all it took for him to usher me towards the great room where he was to share with me just what Heaven was and what Heaven wasn’t.

It was almost like a slide presentation that helped me to understand. It wasn’t the regular kind. It was almost a three dimensional one that came with full on smells, sounds, tactile experiences and the like. It was as if I were experiencing to the greatest ability each “slide” that my father was showing me. And the other interesting thing was the presentation was tailored completely to me. It even started with the question I had asked, “Are there life insurance companies in Heaven?” It was a fun way to present not only how peaceful heaven is, but that there is no death. By the end of the show I fully understood why there was no need for something like life insurance in Heaven. Let me see if I can explain.

Back on earth I was a life insurance agent you see. That question about companies existing in Heaven actually came quite often from my wife. She would always seem to know just how to get me unwound when I would start to fret about making a living as an agent. “Are there life insurance companies in Heaven?” was her way of assuring me that things were never as bad as they seemed and that when all was said and done none of it was really that important. It just mattered to her that I was trying hard to show love for my family and that riches were not what was going to do that.

Joni was right. I saw that now more clearly than ever. It was the love that mattered most and my work at the life insurance company was just one way to show that love. In many other ways, small ways mostly, I was shown in Dad’s super 3D slide show that I had given much love, so much so in fact that there was no other place I could go BUT Heaven. In the end I guess the Beatles were at least right about one thing, all ya need is love. While life insurance protects those I left behind, it’s the love insurance that protects me here.

Life Insurance Companies in Siberia

Siberia is the kind of place you want to make sure to be wearing long johns in. In fact, from what I have heard, it would probably be best to wear a scarf and some galoshes. Anyhow, I want to relate to you a tale of man who went searching for a life insurance company in Siberia. If you life in a cold location, you may just have some chills run down your spine relating to this story.

It was a bright sunny day in the downtown of a quaint Siberian town. In almost any other place that might mean that I would be chilling out in my flip flops and shorts, maybe near a beach, or at very least somewhere near a snow cone stand. But here in Siberia, snow cones are not big sellers. As it turns out, neither are shorts or flip flops.

I don’t mean to drag the story out, I just want to make the point that it’s really cold there because that is an important factor to this little vignette. Here it goes…

All bundled in his summer best a little man trudged down the long driveway of his country home. He made the trip at least once a day. They say when it is this cold it is important to keep your body moving, probably to keep from freezing.

When he reached the end of his driveway he looked back and instead of heading back as per his usual routine he buried his heads deeper into his pocket, readying himself for a longer journey today. Today he was making the trip to prepare his family for hard times.

As he walked he sang an old Siberian song to himself. It was about the sun coming out again after a long, dark winter. Just the memory of his mother singing it to him seemed to warm him from the inside. At times the cold went too deep that he had to sing it many times over. This time it carried him all the way to main street where the local grocer and a tavern stood lonely amid large snow drifts. He had reached midpoint on his little expedition. If he had not sold his dog sled to prepare for today he would not have needed to stop for a hot drink at the pub. But he did and was grateful that it was there.

Now off again the cocoa and song had warmed him well enough that he began to think about the good thing that he was doing today. It was a big step for a family in Siberia to finally insure his wife and children against what was typically an early death for cold climate workers. He was now starting to receive more warmth by the thought of finally going this special rite of passage that not all were able to attend to.

A time later his legs began to stiffen from the cold and distance he had to travel. Finally he looked up and there it was, Siberia Life Insurance. He didn’t remember much of what happened between then and arriving at home. Perhaps it was the excitement he felt to share with his wife the news of the special gift he just gotten for her and the kids. When she heard the news, she too was excited that he had made the trip to the life insurance company. And that my friends, in Siberia, is happily ever after!

Life Insurance Companies in Space

Forever. That’s how long it had been since Captain Terry had thought about his life back on Earth. It was like moving to a new country and eventually dreaming in the new language you had become immersed in. He was now immersed in scenes of black space, speckled skies and altogether out of this world objects. It was day number 1034 on his mission to institute the newest government funded business on the Earth Life Federation’s New Earth Settlement. As there were now families making permanent residence on NES there was a growing need for essential services. Captain Terry had been commissioned to open up a government life insurance company. It was going to be interesting.

The New Earth Settlement was located approximately half the distance from Earth to Mars. There was a need to break Earth’s Orbit and it had to do with planned demolition of the planet that not all citizens were privy to. It was yet one hundred years out, but plans for developing New Earth were well on their way, so it was

Since it took some time to travel the distance from Earth to the new settlement, even at the great speed Earth’s ships could now travel, Captain Terry had time to consider the plans drafted out by the Federation’s planning committee and mold them to the unique conditions found on The Settlement. Considerations had to be made for all possible causes of death, many of which never existed on Earth. The probabilities were still nothing more than guesses, but that is why Terrance was hired, he had a special gift for simulating in his mind the possibilities given a set of vague known facts.

By the time The Settlement was reached the Captain was ready to present to NES citizens plans for the first ever life insurance company in space. It was carefully tailored to meet the needs of the citizens and had been long awaited. So far, only the healthiest from Earth’s over 9 billion and growing population had been chosen for this beta mission. In its 35 years of being peopled, NES had lost only one member to death and it was an accident during a landing. The man had been deprived of sleep for two days and forgot to release his holding belt while helping to guide in the space craft. The shuttle landed on him and it was sad day for all who had prided themselves on such a clean record up until that point. He was a leader greatly loved of the citizens of NES.

Today however, the sadness of that accident was overshadowed by the landing of the ship that was bringing a form of protection that had been anticipated ever since that day. While everyone cares to safety in every aspect of life on NES, there was a growing realization that even here none would be escaping their final destination.

Down came Captain Terry’s ship and after a grand welcome from the Ambassador of NES and other happy citizens Terry shared with them the final details of the ELF sponsored plan. Joy hurried around The Settlement as word spread of the new Life Insurance Company. Protection had finally come to space.

Life Insurance Companies in Springfield

There is a tale told of a man from Springfield. He traveled to Hell and was given access to the best bakers that the hot place could provide. Donuts were on the menu that day, not a problem, they were his favorite choice and he ate until Hell ran out of dough. You would think that a man like that would be at home in a place that so freely gave, but alas, this poor man was sent back home to us here. The debate still goes on to this day about whether or not any of the life insurance companies in Springfield should offer this man a policy.

After all, if the story is true, he this man has an extremely high tolerance to donuts, and death for that matter! But if it just a tall tale then the vast amount of donuts that he consumes daily are bound to shorten his life by 15 years at least. However, no actuary has ever come across such a lifestyle choice and they are not sure whether to bet he will live forever or die tomorrow.

While the agents stand poised to hear the decision of their corporate offices, the simple and happy man attends to his job at the nuclear power plant. Ah, the life. Buttons pushed at will. At first he thought it was important when and which ones he pressed, but soon learned that things kept on going normally if he limited his button pushing to two main buttons: a shiny red one and a faded green one. As he listened to the local sports on his walkman he would push the green any time his favorite team would score and the red when the other team scored, when the ref would make a poor call, when a commercial break would come on or just any time he was frustrated. He was not really sure what it did, but like I said, pushing the buttons in this fashion seemed to do the job.

It was one day after work when this man, let’s call him Homer for the sake of personalizing this story, came home to mobs of TV cameras and men in suits and hats all clamoring for his attention. That’s funny, he thought. His daughter must have won the science fair. Either that or his son was about to be the first eight year old charged as an adult and booked into the prison. No matter the case, he ignored him like he did all solicitors.

It wasn’t until his tall haired wife’s curiosity got the best of her that he found out what all the ruckus was about. They crowded into the room and the four men in suits stood ahead of the camera men. They introduced themselves as representing Springfield’s four life insurance companies and then almost in unison told him that he had been considered by the actuaries to be a safe risk for insuring his life.

He was pampered from that point on by the four agents who each wanted his business. The camera crews had come to see which company would get Springfield’s donut eating champion’s business, but soon got tired and left when they realized that Homer was milking this opportunity for all that it was worth. In the backyard one agent was grilling up some burgers. Another was sitting next to the television changing channels each time Homer threw a peanut at him. The third agent was fetching homer bear and pretzels from the kitchen about every five minutes and the last had positioned himself beneath Homer’s feet as a footstool.

It wasn’t clear yet just which life insurance company would get Homer’s business or if homer just had four new servants that would be a story that the children would tell their kids about some day. Either way, there is never a dull moment Springfield, especially when Homer is home.

Life Insurance Companies in the Bermuda Triangle

Passing my sailing tests hadn’t been this difficult. As a young sailor I was struggling for dear life and had all but given up hope and decided to cling to the mast when the storm all of a sudden ceased and there was calm. It was like night and day. I felt as if someone had reached up and turned off the wave pool switch. Of course our gauges were not reading correctly, but we knew we had found it, the feared, the dreaded by near all sailors, the Bermuda Triangle. There we were, in the middle of what people call the Bermuda Triangle… and we were alive.

Captain Roger had theorized that ships lost at sea in the Triangle were not lost at all, but safely harbored at one of the truly private ports of the world. His stories were convincing and thus he managed to convince 5 others to make the crazy expedition. No sane experienced sailor would dare try it and no newbie knew any better. I guess in this case the Captain lucked out with a fresh fleet of recent graduates from the local sailing school.

Well, it looked for the time being like Captain’s hypothesis had been proven correct. It was odd though. Something didn’t seem quite right. Everything appeared normal, but it was a feeling that floated on the wind like a scent betraying a hiding enemy. It wasn’t long after the storm ended that we saw exactly what it was hiding.

It hadn’t been there before, it was almost as if it had happened upon us in an instant, but then again we were probably just all a little shaken up from the violence of the storm. A ship twice our size and very noble looking stood not one hundred yards off the starboard bow, looming. Without anything against which to reference this experience we all, including Captain Roger, stood very still. In moments the ship came close enough to board our tiny boat and it was then we saw the British Flag, along with a plain white one raise atop the ship’s flag pole. Cap. Roger seemed to have anticipated such a greeting. His grin & squint of eyes told the story. It was like he was reuniting with an old friend.

The ship, without ever bearing sign of captain or crew, then set off into the distance. Captain Roger was quick to order a course following our new British companion. We came to an island that wasn’t charted on any of our maps. The harbor was eerily empty as we docked next to our big friend.

Once tied down we exited our boat and began for shore. We still as yet hadn’t spotted any signs of life other than an apparently unmanned British ship that led us to shore. As we approached land we saw a building just up a ways. Captain Roger confidently led the crew up the hill towards it. As we got closer we could read the lettering on the outside. It was a life insurance company! Since when did they have life insurance companies in the Bermuda Triangle? I guess the whole experience had been odd enough to doubt that this could happen.

We entered the store and at the front counter we caught our first glimpse of a human. She was a beautifully well kept middle age woman with a pleasing smile on her face. It was as if she was expecting us. She shared with us the story of the island, gave us some pens to sign our life insurance policies and thus began our life on the island of Bermuda.

Life Insurance Companies in Hanalei

You remember Jackie Paper don’t you? He was the little boy who discovered the friendly and magical dragon named Puff. As the Rhyme went, Puff the Magic Dragon lived by the sea and frolicked in the Autumn mist in a land called Hanalei. Well, growing up I you never really know all the little nuances and meanings that are behind grownup created cartoons and media. Messages do not need be hidden too deep when the audience doesn’t have the adequate reference points born from experience in life.

What I am getting at here is that when all is said and done, little Jackie rolls paper and smokes and puffs his way to a magical land called Hanalei where nothing is real and everything is hunky dory. Meanwhile, back in reality his parents worry about him, his grades slip and he is rewiring his brain to dull all of life’s real joys in the absence of Puff and he’s dangerously on the road to long term nowhere.

With that said, and without asking my audience to become Cheech and Chong fans, I want to take you to a magical place where everyone is taken care of no one is forgotten. No, it’s not the bar Cheers either, but just hear me out.

On the main street into Hanalei there lies several little shops. Now of course everyone knows that there is no death in Hanalei, instead there is what they call slipping away. Use whatever euphemism you choose, but these little shops are necessities in Hanalei, for you see, when the happy people of this land go to a better place (hard to imagine a better place than Hanalei) they leave behind their loved ones that remain happy despite their parting. And it is through a quick stop at the little shops that dot the entrance to the Hanalei village square that this is made possible.

So, what is so special about these shops? Everyone calls them Life Protection Huts. In this land we would call them Life Insurance Companies. The “huts,” with a simple signature and no further thought, leave behind all the puffable belongings and more to those who stay behind when the signer passes on. It is the Hanaleian’s way of providing for the future. When guiding a new recruit into the village they take their responsibility seriously to stop first at the huts and instill in their magic filled friends a sense of importance about first signing these papers before toking on the other ones.

It is all set up quite well in Hanalei. Everyone is cared for, everyone has insurance and they all know, but never think that the day they will shuffle along into the ground is coming sooner than later. Oh, to be in a magical place like Hanalei! Well, since I refuse to go, I may as well do my best to make this place the best it can be. Can you think of what it would do to the strain on the government purse if families stayed together and if the head of those families provided for a day when they would be gone? We are not in Hanalei, but no need. We have life insurance companies in this land. Make use of them and make reality a better place!

Life Insurance Companies in Prison

It’s hard running a life insurance biz in the prison systems. Personally I don’t like the idea, but there’s a market, the pay is good and I have a captive audience, literally. I’m never quite sure just how the money comes in to pay the soaring premiums that are higher than most insurance policies, but when all is said and done, I have to thank the guy that thought up the idea of letting life insurance companies come into prisons. It does well for me.

I guess it’s not all bad. To explain, let me share with you a story of one man I insured and was very happy to do so. Gordon was a quiet man in his early thirties. He kept a good clean appearance and was not reactive like many others. He observed the other inmates and seemed to have an awareness of others that gave him ability to relate to people from all different walks of life. There was just something quite different about him.

Well, it must have been the third time I went in to discuss Gordon’s needs that I caught myself asking what he was in there for. This was a strict breech of insurance regulations, but when I asked it, I was doing so because he was so fascinating and not to deny him coverage in any way. To be sure, it was not the question I should have asked, but it came out and before I knew it he was answering me.

I got married when I was young. While most of my friends were out partying and wasting their lives I was starting a family, something that meant a great deal to me. We had four children right away and we were growing so much together as a couple. Well, it was after our fourth child was born that a man moved into our neighborhood. He was nice enough and loved to spend time with our little family. Well, one day our second child didn’t come from home from school with her older brother. We went looking everywhere and long story short, that nice neighbor had picked her up from school and taken off with her. We never saw her again. I saw him only one more time.

He was silent and I thought he would share what happened, but he let me read between the lines. His girl had been taken and so he too took. It didn’t appear that he felt remorse, but it was clear that he missed his family and that he was interested in providing for the rest of his family that remain. With the sentence he had left to serve it was more likely that he would be actualizing the benefits of this policy we were now setting up than not.

I don’t approve of people taking the law into their own hands, but I was glad to help this man provide for the wife and children he loved. His passions got the better of him and I’m sure they would rather have their father back, but in the absence thereof he at least made sure that when he was gone they would be looked after.