It feels like there isn’t a day when I don’t open the internet only to find that someone is getting divorced. And the cause is always the same — irreconcilable differences. How is it that marriages get to the point where they can no longer reconcile with each other? They may have been together for years and suddenly they don’t know how to talk anymore. I’m no expert in marriage reconciliation, but I have been married for eight years, and I plan on being married forever. Here are a few things I do to keep my marriage strong.
Never Stop Dating
This may seem silly because once you are married, your off the market, you can’t date anymore. But you can date your spouse. Whether you’re newlywed or marriage is an old hat, still date. Go out and spend time together and talk. Especially after you have kids. I don’t care if the only thing you do is go get your weekly grocery’s — do it together and make sure you are connecting with your spouse. Driving is good too, it forces you to be in a confined space where you must talk to each other and work out your differences.
Physical connection is monumental to healthy relationship. How many times have you heard the line in movies, “I just don’t love you anymore”? Perhaps that person is looking for admiration that they no longer feel for their spouse. Just a simple hand hold, daily, a touch of the skin when you see your spouse can ignite feelings of love. Even if you don’t feel like it, hand holding can repair those feelings of distance that brought you there.
Say “I Love you, more”
This phrase can become a game that can bring you closer together. You say, “I love you” they say it back, you add the more they add a more then you can raise the stakes by telling them why you love them more. This way you are focusing on the positive aspects of marriage rather than the things you don’t like about your spouse. And there’s another thing, Don’t talk bad about your spouse, ever. You may think it’s harmless water-cooler talk, but that talk can become habit which can lead to those negative thoughts. Plus people are going to think bad things about your spouse whenever they see them. That kind of resentment is easy to pick up on and can drive a couple apart. If you’re mad at your spouse, work it out, but don’t harp on them to other people.
All in all, a marriage is work. It’s a responsibility to vow your life to someone, and it doesn’t magically stay together. Keep a positive attitude and work on it together. If you try, your marriage will last.